What’s amazing to me about life is I believe we have mini 24 hour quizzes that can determine our overall grade for our life. We won’t always ace everyday or every situation but we always have the chance to make it up with the next day. We can provide more effort or focus in that next moment to even out our grade. This has been very apparent to me lately. I’ve failed the past couple days in my love life but passed in other aspects of my life. I’m trying to work on a complete day. I’m working on placing the same care with all aspects of my life that I have been with certain areas I do already. I will never be satisfied till I complete a full day. How will I do that?
I plan on staying honest with myself and finding my true self. I think I’ve been so shitty in my love life because I’m scared. I’m scared to make the same mistakes twice. I’m scared I will revert back to who I was before. I want nothing but finding my true self and my true life partner. I had a plan in my head through this difficult process on when I would find that person. What if God has a different plan for me? I have to remember God has a plan for me and following that plan will lead to my true happiness. It’s hard to stay true when you are as stubborn as I am and believe so passionately that my plan will work. Maybe it won’t. Maybe this is the chance that was given to me and I have that opportunity to seek this life I’m striving for. This is where I am at. Do I know the answer? No, but I know how I can find it. I can find it by praying and listening to what god tells me during the day. I plan to do a lot of listening over the next few days and something tells me this will show me my path.