The future

I had my amends tonight with my soon to be ex-wife.  Let’s say it went really bad to start.  I immediately reverted back to my old ways.  I acted out my anger of the divorce.  This included my self-pity, selfish feelings and overall making her feel bad.  It was a perfect story book of our marriage.  The fact is it’s over and I’ve had a hard time accepting it is over.  I’ve not done the work in this department because I’ve wanted to hold on to whatever was left.  The truth it’s gone.  The truth is it’s been over for a long time.  It sucks and it’s definitely not ideal for my daughter but this is where I think I’ve got a choice to either make this great or tragic.  How do I do that?

Well first remember the feeling of acceptance you felt when you left the house.  Remember that she loves and cares about you just in a different way.  Remember the amount that your life will have meaning and purpose will be determined on your actions going forward.  

Whst can I do at a time of weakness and sadness?  I need to remember it’s fir the best.  My daughter, my ex-wife, our loved ones and most importantly me.  God has decided this is our path in life.  God has meaning and purpose for this to happen.  We are all destined for greatness if we take this and run with it.  

I’m feeling a sense of clarity and freedom.  I’m still sad when I think about the past but it’s quickly removed when I pray and I think of our futures.  I’m ready.  I’m ready for my life to be completely free of my wrongdoings in the past.  I’m ready to fully commit to better my shortcomings.  No longer shall I let my weakness win.  No longer will I be a half the man I am supposed to be.  

I’m going to embrace my new beginning.  I’m going to fully jump in and find out what I’m capable of in this life.  I will show in time that I’m serious about this to my ex-wife.  I will no longer talk to her about this. She deserves this same freedom I have.  


Author: msoc14

I'm a highly motivated individual looking for new ideas and explore what my life has to offer me in the future.

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