Life sucks sometimes, it really does. They say divorce is in the top 3 of hardest things to go through while in the AA program. I couldn’t agree more. Now, of course I’m sad about the loss of the normal things but lately I’ve been thinking of all the little things. Being there on Christmas morning to run downstairs with my family. Providing support for my wife during a tough time in life. Or sharing a great achievement of hers in the future. Being the one she calls when she has something she needs advice on. The reality is she’s a great person seeking her own journey that she chose for me to not be apart of moving forward. I know and have seen my posts I don’t think I’ve accepted this. The irony is I thought dating would help me forget her or move on. It’s only solidified my undying love for her. I’ve met some very genuine great woman but one thing wrong with them… they are not my wife. End of story. It’s weird I think I’m making progress I’ve gone through denial, anger, blaime and among others but now I’m in just pure dark sadness. It’s scary it’s lonely even when your in public. I have faith in God, he’s really putting me at the test. It’s my big exam for the 1st 35 years of my life. I, of course drank for a lot of those years so I’m trying to retain as much as I can now at the end of this session. I’m soaking it in. I’ve come this far I’ve got a lot to go but at least I can say I’m here and still fighting.