Have you ever seen the movie? First off, this is not a movie review. This is my interpretation on how it relates to my life. I hope someday someone reads this before it’s too late like it is for me. I hope I can help someone put aside all the hate and drama that couples have come about during a marriage. Whether one of you is dealing with sobriety issues or not this movie should be a wake up call.
How it relates to me? I’m an alcoholic. My soon to be ex-wife and I have had many problems for years that we cast aside with buying a new house or finding some instant gratification to help fill that void of true loneliness until there was nothing left. No foundation to build off. The passion is long gone and the trust would take years to rebuild. This is not a pity party. God knows, as do I, that does not lead to happiness and truth in life. I’ve played this part so many times that she has grown tired. She lost faith and trust in me as a man. This is my problem. How can I expect her to see that in me if I don’t know if that’s what I see YET in the mirror? What I am 100% sure of after just over 100 days soberity is I know little and I have a long journey ahead of me. That this trip of life I am on has many peaks and valleys. I need to trust the road ahead and push forward. If we end up back together in time that would be a dream come true. I’ll call it perfect harmony. But, I do know this forcing and controlling of situations that I tend to do only increases the rockiness of my road ahead. This impatience and lack of trust in my destiny only makes it darker and harder to see the road I am traveling on.
I’ll always love my wife. This movie reminded me that I’m asking the wrong questions in life. This movie reminded me that God has a plan and I need to trust it. I need to become the man I was intended to be and only then will I start to see the fruits of my labor. I wish nothing but happiness for her and thank god every night that she doesn’t hate me. That we have the ability through the roughest of times to truly remain friends. We will always have each other no matter where we are called to be. I know that but I’m working on fully understanding that.
I’ll end by saying, be the self you are meant to be. Be the best you that you can be. If this leads you back to your loved one great. But, if it doesn’t don’t be discouraged. None of us really know what we have in store in our future. So, I say, why not become something great. Why not, live in the moments now and I believe before you know that true happiness we all seek will be sitting right next to you. Just don’t be surprised who or in what situation it has lead you to.