It’s finally time for me to come to grips with the fact, a new chapter in my life is about to start. For many reasons, this last chapter is over. It was great. It was heartbreaking. It was hard. It was many other things, but I think you get the idea.
As much as it hurts, and trust me it’s a pain I will protect myself from for the rest of my life. I have to start the grieving process. I have to feel the hurt. I have let the lonlieness sink in. This way, I can write my next chapter with piece and happiness. I can include many full filing memories that I have started to dream of.
My biggest issue right now is I’m in the why me portion of life. I’m full of self-pity and bordering on loosing motivation to continue my action plans. I’m very angry. I’m regretful and Upset on where is my reward for the past 4 months. Is this my reward total destruction of the life I knew. How do I pick up the pieces from here?
I figure as much as I can say I honestly don’t know, let’s talk about what I do know. I know that the only slimmer of happiness I’ve felt in the last year was when I’ve been sober and been able to react a goal that I set forth.
Tomorrow morning, I will review the goals I had put together before while I was in my last chapter of my life and reestablish Them based on my current situation. I need to ensure they have one underlying goal in mind. My happiness. My goals and what I want in my life no one else. I’m determined to understand what that is and what I’m gonna do to achieve it.
So I guess I’ll end with, the recent closing chapter brought me love, happiness, pain, euphoria, and challenge. I lost this chapter in my life. But, I’m plan on learning and using it to drive me forward to win the war. I’m very much down and fighting to stay upright, but at least I can say I’m here to stay.